You've got to be kidding. How did the healer in alliance get the most honor! Sad... *mirrorme btw <---

Anyway, kidding aside.

I'm having a lot of troubles starting up homework/projects/work related things now. Maybe because wotlk came out and i'm too obsessed in doing things in it and totally losing focus. Though, i think it's just a lack of motivation/desire to want to finish or do things. I mean, i'm even too lazy to blog.

But all in all, school's been alright. 19 credit hours is killing me. I'm taking DEC for one credit hour, but i'm doing about five credit hours worth of work in it because i have incompetent underlings who don't know the difference between a headline and a tagline. So i'm forced to actually do art direction work in that. What's the deal with that?

NSAC is going down the shit. Nothing is going right, and no one is really paying attention or even caring at this point.

Anyway, onto the main points of my rambling.

Working out has never been so difficult. I'm unmotivated and I don't seem to want to even just "run." But as of tomorrow, i'm going to start. As difficult as it is to peel away from doing dailies, I have to start getting back in shape. And NO, round is not a shape. hahaha.

So it's been....roughly 4 weeks since I've posted anything significant. Well, when I say significant, I really mean to say just post. Since winter break kicked in, I don't think it was a matter of having material to blog about or even random rants about certain things going on around the holidays - I truly believe it was just out of plain laziness.

After ditching the last week of school (finals week), I jumped ship and just went home. Packed everything in a dufflebag and a backpack and off I went
/yes, that's all I really need for 5 weeks break. Needless to say, this break was very typical I think.

Anna and I are back together. Mistakes are mistakes, people are weak, but I'm not one to hold grudges. We've both accepted what's happened and that's that. Some people may say it's a dumb mistake, some may say "as long as you are happy." I don't feel that the things I do are "mistakes." Going out with her and living the pain for the previous 3 months was hell. Yes. But I never once felt that it was a mistake. I had begun to accept the things that are out of my hands and that if things were meant to be, I shouldn't force her to be with me. I was beginning to be happy with just knowing that she'd be doing better and that what she did, was a mistake/accident/whatever. And in order for her to figure out what she wanted, she would need to forgive herself. That's what i wanted in the long run i believe while we were on a break.

There were times i wanted her to talk to me, but in the end, she ended up fighting arguing with me. In due time though, things got better and here we are, continuing our journey together. I feel the time apart was just some healing and reflecting time so that we both knew what we truly wanted.

And of course, there are other great news. A good friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend and now they're engaged and set to marry in June. It was really great to come back during thanksgiving and hear about the news. Those two are really good together. They understand their ins and outs. They nag. They bicker. But at the end of the day, they smile because what they do is love each other. Only having have dated for 9 months is a little short, but the two of them truly feel that life's too short. Why bother waiting?

At the same time, another friend also proposed to his girlfriend. They're going on a different approach. They've dated for like...4 years? And now they're doing a prolonged engagement. They know they're going to marry each other, they just don't see it in the near future. So they decided to just get engaged and when things settle down and what not is when they'll finally tie the knot.

Anna and I have thought over marriage and stuff back in the day and even now with the two new engaged couples. One of them is a 22 and a 26 year old while the other is a 24 and a 22 year old. The former wants a big family, start now and grow happy together. The younger one is about to graduate and hopefully work as a teacher while the older is already working in retail pharmacy. Financially, they're getting more stable and they can see a bright future for them. When anna and I discuss marriage, she and i are similar to the 24 and 22 year old since...those are our ages. We figure that it would be best for her to finish school before we really figure things out. For me, that should give me ample time to look for a job and just start saving up. Me...going into advertising art direction, doesn't earn a lot. So any little bit i earn and save, i think, will just add up in the long run. not only that, she's thinking about having four kids...while i'm happy with 2-3. hahaha. THEY COST TO DAMN MUCH THESE DAYS. But i love kids. they make me smile.

So reflecting on all this, what are people's thoughts on marriage and family? Obviously, i'm a family man.

You know, browsing through xanga and many other websites, i've come to realize it is near impossible to just write about yourself. No no, not the current events to what's going on or how your christmases will be hectic or just things that are bothering you.

I mean: the "becoming of me."

So i'm staring at word and all i see is a blinking cursor (well that's a lie, i'm always watching the dark knight...but that's how i work), and honestly, i can't think of how to say why i'm an aspiring art director. i mean i know why, but ... why did i turn to this field.

I'm creating my portfolio online and i guess i'm trying to come up with my "mission statement." I can go around and say that i lost my passion in science cause i was always interested in designing. Or maybe i can say that i'm just that good. but honestly, i guess it's more of a "why should they hire me" point of view that's really stumping me.